False Hope
This poem of hope to bring our love back was not able to be written at first, due to the lack of hope I had...
2 days, 3 days, and more later, a little bit of hope returns. But this seething burn of this break is still taking it's turn to continually burn my inner being. I am told "friends is all we can be as I need to become a better me to treat you how you deserve to be". That statement kills me.
But whatever it takes to be treated better, I will do whatever, go through whatever and be here whenever for things to get better. The cursed ex trying to test my strength, our strength in us by flashing her financial strengths that she has above me. Trying to hone in my family. Hearing about the things that you do with her or him or whoever makes me feel like nothing will ever work or become better..
That is, until I get better mentally, building my inner strength and vitality to shine vibrantly. While she, dealing with her own obscenities. I AM determined to come out lively and show the world I am proud to be ME!
But she will never leave my mind, no matter how hard I try to eliminate, her presence permeates my head, my heart. Her touch melts my body. She's got this hold on me and it seems to be the case for more than just me. She's got a he and another she and then there's lil ol' me. What a fucking trilogy.
I need to break this triangular shit. Someday and somehow it will happen, wishing the time was now. It seems somehow the obvious signs just pass right through me. How stupid of me.
Fuck it. This series will have its finale. No more entertaining this travesty of a relationship for me.
Hope stays within me but I need to deal with the demons that continually haunt me. The demons of ignorance, negligence, letting myself take in abuse and be labeled as a pestilence which isn't so. Make no sense why I can't let the abuse go.
I pray one day her mean and abusive words and actions will go away and be gone. I'm so far gone...in this...slipping...drowning...not knowing whether I will live through this or die trying. I will not let this shit kill me!
I will not let the presence of her others affect my individuality. I'm a bad ass bitch and I know it. I represent my shit and I'm 100% legit! I am determined...to salvage, to rampage, to grace the stage and for once accept some praise. I am determined..to bring her home..where she belongs.
If my determination proves to be foregone, then I belong somewhere else.
Where else may that be?
I don't know ;""(
2 days, 3 days, and more later, a little bit of hope returns. But this seething burn of this break is still taking it's turn to continually burn my inner being. I am told "friends is all we can be as I need to become a better me to treat you how you deserve to be". That statement kills me.
But whatever it takes to be treated better, I will do whatever, go through whatever and be here whenever for things to get better. The cursed ex trying to test my strength, our strength in us by flashing her financial strengths that she has above me. Trying to hone in my family. Hearing about the things that you do with her or him or whoever makes me feel like nothing will ever work or become better..
That is, until I get better mentally, building my inner strength and vitality to shine vibrantly. While she, dealing with her own obscenities. I AM determined to come out lively and show the world I am proud to be ME!
But she will never leave my mind, no matter how hard I try to eliminate, her presence permeates my head, my heart. Her touch melts my body. She's got this hold on me and it seems to be the case for more than just me. She's got a he and another she and then there's lil ol' me. What a fucking trilogy.
I need to break this triangular shit. Someday and somehow it will happen, wishing the time was now. It seems somehow the obvious signs just pass right through me. How stupid of me.
Fuck it. This series will have its finale. No more entertaining this travesty of a relationship for me.
Hope stays within me but I need to deal with the demons that continually haunt me. The demons of ignorance, negligence, letting myself take in abuse and be labeled as a pestilence which isn't so. Make no sense why I can't let the abuse go.
I pray one day her mean and abusive words and actions will go away and be gone. I'm so far gone...in this...slipping...drowning...not knowing whether I will live through this or die trying. I will not let this shit kill me!
I will not let the presence of her others affect my individuality. I'm a bad ass bitch and I know it. I represent my shit and I'm 100% legit! I am determined...to salvage, to rampage, to grace the stage and for once accept some praise. I am determined..to bring her home..where she belongs.
If my determination proves to be foregone, then I belong somewhere else.
Where else may that be?
I don't know ;""(
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