Barren

Emotions running ragged
Tip of the knife is jagged

This bs is nothing but stress
So complex but should be less

Whirlwind heart so far apart from reality it challenges me
To choose between fantasy and actuality
I feel like I'm choosing early mortality

The pains, aches, constantly break my spirit
I've been continually hit, wounded
My barren womb I assume
is permanently deformed, distorted

why am I so damaged, am I really no good?
Why is my body, my womb not able?

I just want to be able
to give life, with no strife
but instead a knife cuts me open
Only then I feel relief as I lay sleep

While the medical personnel temporarily relieve
the web that binds my supposed life giving center
I hope that one day a "bun" will enter so I can continue my generation

But as of now, no baby, no fertility, no mini-me
Why me??
I feel as if I am no woman
I am not able to do what we are born to
Give life

Just use the knife and cut me deep
Let the blood run and seep
The blood continually floods out
I black out
Heart racing, pulse fading

Flatline___________________

But then^-^^-^-^^
heart jumpstarts again,
pulse regained

I rise again
I know that this isn't the end

There is hope, faith, and love waiting out there for me
And what is meant to be will be
No need for this tragedy to happen to me

I will be free of this travesty

One day...